Fight, Fight, Fight, Fight!

I'm the luckiest man alive!, yep, having a woman in your life that has the same utter contempt for celebland, and yet still has an uncontrollable urge to stare at them, unblinkingly... like road kill, means I get the best gossip, with added "bitchness". It's fucking ace!

The Macca-Stella-Pegleg-Mucca story just keeps on creeping on, like a 10 tonne haulage truck accidentally rolling toward a primary school. I'm loving every crazy second of it.

Now armed with recently updated sources of information (AKA my girlfriend*) I can reveal some interesting facts:

• After pegleg's meltdown on GMTV yesterday morning, every woman in the country took a Mobile text vote, and decided by a 81.5% landslide, that Heather Mills is absolutely mad-as-hens!
• Nobody actually cares if she is in possession of certain facts pertaining to her accusation that Sir Paul is in fact, a bit of a Cunt (sorry, I'm just saying verbatim what my source* told me)
• The real reason that Pegger's & Macca split was due to the low resonating hum that emitts from her fake leg, which can, in some cases, cause depression and the pox.
• Mills claims Sir P's daughter Stella was jealous of her and tried to wreck the marriage to her father...Oh, boo hoo.... They should put them in a ring and let them bitch fight it out. My money is on the "gutter pigeon" aka Heather Peg-Leg-Mills - I mean, she has a fake leg... she could beat the McCartney's out of you with it
• Mills compared herself to Princess Diana, Gandhi, the Queen and Bob Carolgees (porbably, sorry Bob), all of which have also suffered at the hands of the press. Rumours of her ability to walk on water, cure lepers and time travel have yet to be substantiated.

"Yeah, I know it says Lennon-McCartney on the credits.. but can we just change it to McCartney-Lennon?, I mean, what's the harm....."

Should have kept it in your pants mate

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