"You've Gotta be in it to win it, Innit?"

Back in the olden days, when Big Brother was just an innocent little anthropological study, but on telly - you could sort of feel something close to empathy for some of the people that entered such a bizarre competition. I mean, we can't all be Einstein can we, but at worst, our stupidity is only shared with say, our partners and close friends, and not, for example, the entire fucking country who actually tuned in

Any hooo... moving on 6 or 7 years later, and isn't Big Brother just so much more sophisticated, eh?...

This is not some blatant flag waving psycho Circus, this is serious, relevant, referential television. This is the truth we're living right now.... Oh. My. Christ.

In medical terms…. research, advancement & cure are common watch words – And, in the sciences, new developments occur on a daily basis; Y'know the kind of thing, can we grow a human ear on the back of a mouse, fuck yeah!, can we, for example, make sheep's out of some old bit of spunk and a dish cloth?, check.... but wait .... can we make a bionic arm/leg/face/lung? and attach it to someone who really, let's face it, doesn't fucking deserve to experience such medical advancement because they're a bit thick....? check, check, and I think, now let me see, yep!, check again....

Next thing y'know they'll be growing us, like Mushrooms, in Larders and cupboards under the stairs.....

And if they do - y'know what they’ll be growing?... Will it surprise you if I say I have a theory?

Hideous little hybrids like the awful oxygen thief Charley from this year’s Big Brother –

Jesus Fucking Christ.

This c-list-star-fucking-under-achieving-attention-seeking-half-wit should not have been given a tongue. The experiment went wrong…

And now, we have to suffer the incredulous megalomaniacal little goblets of turd that fall forth from her stupid mouth.

Jade was the mark 1 version of a mushroom…. I’m so sorry for the things I’ve said in the past Jade. All is forgiven.

We’ve all asked for this. It’s our fault. We’ve created a monster made under the stairs by some 13 year boy in a crazed first chemical experiment.

And now, many will walk among us in her form, looking normal, but speaking absolute complete and utter incomprehensible sick from their stupid hybrid little mouth holes.

And there no escape, because now we have “Baby Ballroom” - yep, that’s right… can you feel the bile…. They’re breeding creepy little shits that look like humans but in dance outfits …..

You only have yourselves to blame…

this is the end