Charlie Brooker, you're my Hero!

Charlie Brooker's Screen Wipe & Screen Burn are literally about the only things that make me laugh until I feel sick. His BBC4 show was on irritatingly late, but I would wait up, sitting there looking like a dog being shown a card trick, hanging on to his every word, laughing like a school boy who just heard his first fart joke. Long live Charlie Brooker....

Some may know that he was in part responsible for "Brass Eye" "TV Go Home" & "Nathan Barley" this may be a decent link to some of his stuff : His wit is extremely acerbic and not to everyone's taste admittedly, but Genius is so rarely well received isn't it? (pompous arse)



TV Ideas that we'll never see:

Don’t you point at me!
Channel 4 funds a new documentary experience: Would-be TV presenter hopefuls are given a film crew for 1 day . Their task: to point at random members of the public until a fight erupts, possibly with more than one recipient, and hopefully in a 24 hour convenience store just off the Muswell Hill roundabout

Llama's On Ice:
Watch in awe as Llama’s ice skate & then occasionally spit at two year old children in the audience: presented by Natasha Kaplinsky

Women are from Mars, Men Don't Care
“It’s a Knockout” style survival game show. The Female Vs Male eternal “battle” is played out: Each week there is a different theme (Medieval, Biblical, Watts Riots…) the end inevitably involves a death by bludgeoning with a tyre iron. – presented by Jeremy Kyle.

Mark Kermode’s 50’s throw back Cook Off:
50’s style throwback Mark Kermode presents late night bed-sit cooking show. C-list Celebrities stagger onto the set half cut, after drinking Czechoslovakian wines in the green room. They reminisce about their first flat shares & embarrassing sexual experience at Stage School , whilst microwaving a baked potato – Kermode shouts at them, and discusses European Cinema, making C-Lister's and audience alike feel inadequate. (BBC4, possibly)

Tim Burton's Gothic Makeovers
Tim Burton does Laurence Llewellyn-Bowen makeovers of inner city housing Projects. Watch as Hooded A.S.B.O gun runners come home to find their flats have been painted opaque black from floor to ceiling, and decorated with figurines of Edward Scissor Hands, displayed in glass cabinets…

Cat Mangler!
Woozy – experimental visual hijacking: Ray Winston literally mangles cats through a Victorian Landry Mangle, whilst shouting things like “Shut it you scroat” Music by Lemon Jelly.