An Imitation of Life

Blade Runner, Possibly the definitive Science Fiction movie of the early 1980's.

It's courted controversy is now as established into the cult & pop psyche as the movie itself. The dubbed voice over, The final edited scene, The addition of a Unicorn. Ridly Scott on /off relationship with the financiers These have all added weight to the story of a film about Replicants.

But Phillip K Dick's Novel, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? , of which the film is tenuously based on, did not lend itself well to the medium of film . The language is difficult to translate, and the dystopian landscape within can be hard to imagine, it's full of the uncomfortable colour of a world gone wrong.

The central story line of the book is disjointed and difficult to sum up in a few words. I can imagine trying to pitch the book to a Hollywood producer would bring even the best out in a sweat.

The book was originally released in 1968 and was received about as well as any book describing a mans decent into confusion and doubt can ever be. Flash forward to the early 1980's and Dick's work was in development with some of the central characters intact. The rest came from the hearts and minds of screenwriters Hampton Fancher & David Peoples. On it's original release, Blade Runner did not receive particularly favourable reviews, and audiences did not necessarily embrace this idea of the future.

When the VHS rental phenomena began in the mid to late 1980's in the UK, the film begun to get its legs. Now of course, it's unusual to meet someone who hasn't seen it, and most of who have, consider it at least a work of weight and interest.

2007 will see what I think will be called "Blade Runner (25th Anniversary Final Cut)" which I believe will be Ridley Scott's attempt to put all the bits of all the other previous releases (of which there have been 7 so far) into some coherent order with extra scenes, deleted scenes, interviews, trivia etc into one 3 disc set (or something).

It's interesting to note that, as a philosophical comment on what it means to be "human", Blade Runner has few contemporary Science Fiction films on which it can be compared. As a visual aid to what an imagined future may look like, it's undeniably close to what we're living in now. Technologically speaking, many of the "Hi Tech" gadgets we see fleetingly in the film are commonplace items today:

But actually, all these effects or visions of a future are really just a backdrop to a very human question which threads throughout Blade Runner.

"Who am I?"

And, in fact, the one character that portrays in some way the pursuit for an answer is Roy Batty (pictured above), though his conclusion may not be a reassuring one, it is a most certain truth for his character; The irony of course, is that he is essentially far from human.

Some of Batty's last words reflect the truth of things;

“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe...All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain."

You don't have to be a fan of Science Fiction to Enjoy this film. You don't have to be an advocate of all things new. There's a sense throughout the film that actually technology is taking over human space, and certainly not always in a good way.

Oddly, for a film with very little dialogue, this is in someways an extremely pensive view on frailty.

...See this film:

The great thing about television is.....

".... that if something important happens anywhere in the world, day or night, you can always change the channel. " (Quote from the 1970's TV show "Taxi")

My mental TV landscape is not one of northerners talking about sheep-dip , nor is it cockney's trying to sell fruit from a "barrah" or havin' it off with the daughter of their brothers cousin. : No, my earliest TV memories are things like the Hill Street Blues theme tune, Six Million Dollar Man, Knight Rider, Harold Lloyd, Taxi, The Red Hand Gang, Twilight Zone, (it's no coincidence that all these shows come from across the pond)

And it's directly down to these shows, these TV memories, that I am who I am; Indeed, it's fair to say that American TV has subconsciously shaped my views on almost everything I believe in, I have become Americanised. (this would make sense of my shallow insincerity, and need to make everyone in the room laugh once every 15 seconds...)

It's no coincidence then, that when my girlfriend & I went to New York last February, I felt that I was literally inside a TV show. New York, & America, has all the colours turned up.... just a little bit. It is a country of extremes, everything is jurned up, or down, just a little bit;

Food is cheap, plentiful and accessible, yet the US also have some of the worst figures for food related poverty in the west. Sex is on show everywhere, in fact the US is the highest consumer of Porn related materials in the world, and yet has by contrast one of the most puritanical ideologies - and, to be honest, prudish sensibilites. There are in excess of 300 TV channesl in the US, more if you include Public Access TV, but flicking through the channels you would be forgiven to thin there are actually only a few shows ever on; "Friends", "Desperate Housewives", "Lost" or "2obloody4"

British TV, by contrast, can be a bit "twee" & amateur. However, well knownwe are to do extremely good Drama. Our D rama series' are heavily exported and extremely popular in countries such as the US, Australia and Japan (go figure).

Shows like "Our Friends in the North" "State of Play" & "Shameless" have enjoyed viewing figures to put other home grown shows to shame. In fact "State of Play" is currently in US development as a Film, with Brad Pitt linked to the project.

Also, UK TV comedy has had yet another second life, thanks to shows like "The Office" & "Black Books" as two examples, in recent years... (even though Gervaise openly admits being heavily influenced by US shows like "Seinfeld", "Arrested Development" & "Curb Your Enthusiasm", but we're not allowed to mention that....)

At the risk of treading slightly into Charlie Brookers territory, Telly is important. It's hugely influential in parts both good & bad.I'm not going to argue the Anthropological theories here, but I will use one case in point.

The Crazy Frog:

The Crazy Frog is/was a animation created to sell a ring tone. It really is as simple as that. Some people got uptight because the animated advert that was used to sell the ring tone, did show the the Crazy Frog's knackers... but ultimately, it was a vehicle to sell a product.

Because of Telly though, it became something else entirely. Despite the fact that the ring tone was rubbish, it sold in it's millions, and then, get this, they released a single that became number one in the UK top 40 charts, apparently it was number one for a million years. There is also a video game.... absolute genius, there are cartoons, sticker books, colouring in books. Sandwich boxed, rucksacks, Coffee cups. Are you getting the picture?

Telly is so good that, becuase Crazy Frog was pumped into our living rooms day after day, we actually went into shops, got out our wallets and handed over money to listen to an animated frog that had been created to sell a FUCKING RING TONE.

I think that pretty much sums it up really. We deserve everything we get.

"Why Can't I Get An Audition?"

In Brighton, If you throw a stick, you'll hit someone who says they're in the "Creative Industries" (for the record, sitting in your pants, uploading your CV to "Stage" website, does not make you an actor...). You've only got to go on Myspce and type in Brighton to be bombarded with "Talent". (I'm not fecking linking that!)

The Famous for 15 minutes idea has been buzzing around my head today. (and let's face it, I'm Subconsciously trying to gain notoriety with this blog... damn you Freud...!). You see it in the heavily edited audition tapes of every "Pop Idol","Feck Factor", "Shag ME! Academy" show. Everyone wants , nay, deserves to be on telly.... (& Famous, and Rich and Happy...)

I love the bizarre caravan dwelling family stampedes to "nasty" Simon Cowell's desk; c'mon Simon, just listen to my little Kylie sing again, p-l-e-a-s-e;

But no, She could be juggling cats.... Simon's word is as strong as Oak. He will not relent. and rightly so. In the Bible it says something about when there's no more space in Hell, then the dead will rise and roam the streets. I get the distinct feeling that Cowell is holding the key to the door. allowing the odd Satan's Angel to sneak out for some airtime, to save us all from more of this: just think of hundreds of thems stumbling about the gaff.

Ray Quinn, sort of an Eddie Munster meets Chucky Doll nightmare has been given public clearance to bleet out his blandness onto a poor unsuspecting public. In fairness, though. some of you actually voted for him. Don't you know what you doing, you're giving him artistic plausibility, put that phone down!.

Ray's Album consists of mainly Frank Sinatra & Dean Martin Crooning type numbers; Frank is said to have had one of the most technically pure voices of a generation, widely known for his impeccable tone and nuanced performances. His version of "My Way", for examply, has a depth of meaning that truly transcends just music, it's history, it's man telling his life story. It's fucking art...

Ray's little mouth cannot possibly ascribe to this: He's little brains have yet to understand the deeper meaning of true success or abject failure. In short, he is a BOY. The greatest Tragedy is that for some, Ray's scary little face and soulless voice might be as close to Frank or Dean's genius & perfection as they'll ever get. Believe it or not, I consider that a greater tragedy than say, Steps not reuniting.

But how can we blame him, in a world where "Smash Hits Re-hab pin up" Robbie Williams has lost so much credibility. I mean, 60 fags & 10 cans of red bull a day is probably going to give you a bit of a headache, but rehab? C'mon Robbie, you used to be beautiful.

As the late great Bill Hicks used to scream "I want my Rock Stars Dead!". But they don't die anymore, the keep on bouncing back.

"Am I Mingin'?"

Like a road accident you slow down on the motorway to look at, .... I've watched in slack jawed awe the hideousness that has been the PR circus of Miss Jade Goody. She has raised the bar on mediocrity to such a degree, even G, G, G Gareth Gates has retired. Andy Warhol said; "In the future we'll all be famous for 15 minutes", I'm not convinced he meant this:

I'm not going to get into wagon jumping that has occurred in recent Weeks' (I've always thought she was a twat, and I am obviously superior for knowing this...) Instead, I thought I'd highlight some classic Goody Twatery: (I don't care that that isn't a word, I'm on the moral high ground tonight...)

These wordy delights all came from Goody's silly little mouthole:

• Rio de Janeiro, ain't that a person?
• What's a sparagus? Do you grow it?
• Sherlock Holmes invented toilets.
• Mother Theresa is from Germany.
• It's Mona Lisa who's symmetrical, innit?
• They were trying to use me as an escape goat.
• Do you play croquet on a horse?

It's one thing to be bit "challenged", but it's entirely another for the rest of us to have to watch it. The fact the somehow we seemed to have applauded this idiocy for three years or so is just as criminal as her getting paid for being a caaaahhhnnt; but there you go: we'll always have Stars in Their Eyes

couple of things to take your mind of it all:

Frogger or watch some TV on your PC (good link...) or this or this

Spot the Family Resemblance?

Sundays I spend with my daughter, Eva: She’s four-and-a-half years old. She’s my little freak! In the last year she has developed a charm offensive that’s something to behold; most people who come into direct contact with her go weak at the knees and start to give her money. Though I think she’s eternally cute, I am immune to her dimples… mostly: Eva’s pretty much like most four year old girls, she likes pink clothing , “Bratz” and Dogs, she like running along walls, squirrels’ in the park and swings. She's recently started Ballet & Drama, God help me if she turns out like this: (I'm the one below by the way, aha hahahha bwahahhhaha...) Now that's out of the way - let no more be said on the matter. I promise not to post any more pictures of Eva and say really rubbish things like:" awww, look her her, like a little angel innit?."

I bumped into my friend Simon Dixon last night, a most excellent popular culture artist. Simon's looking for a new studio in Brighton, If anyone knows anyone with a decent space in town that's going spare, get in touch:
In the early 90's a friend introduced me to J.R. "Bob" Dobbs. For one reason or another I'd totally forgotten about "The Church of the Subgenius" Now I'm thinking about becoming ordained...

"Mother of God!"

In 1985 Weird Science was released: I was fifteen yeas old, and Kelly LeBrock started to happen to me. I can't be sure how many times I went to see the movie, it's all a bit of a blur. But what I do remember was siting there in the theatre, mouth slightly ajar, dropping the odd piece of popcorn vaguely toward it.

To a fifteen year old boy, she embodied every secret thought of what a woman should be. There's no doubt that her acting talent was, well, virtually non existent what a shame this happened to her. Ah well. Life.Moves.On.

"Bettie be Thy Name"

"Wowsers!"

I probably don't have to tell you why Bettie Page was one of the most popular Pin-Ups of her time (1950's, mostly). Here is some really interesting info on Bettie, and here is a decent gallery - I'd wait until you get home to view this:

in 2005 Gretchen Mol starred as Bettie Page in "The Notorious Bettie Page", which got pretty favourable reviews (Gretchen does look uncannily like Bettie, and then, err, not at all). Bettie, now in her 77th year, is finally getting some recognition as an "artist". I wouldn't know about that, but she looks deadly in stockings. Interesting also to mention that Harold Lloyd ("A Pair of Glasses & a Smile") also took to some interesting photography after retirement from movies....




Today, there's a new girl bringing Burlesque into the mainstream. No one is doing a better job, or showing more passion for the style and ideology than Dita Von Teese. There's a great book about Burlesque by Teese, which is definitely worth a look into: (It's art, so strictly speaking the nude pictures are actually a comment modern society. In other words, it's OK to look...) The best news is, she's no longer with Marilyn Manson. So knock yourself out!