Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday.

So I've stopped trying....My boss has a wonderful imagination, which is why I can sit at my desk, scratching my arse, while she imagines that I'm "researching" on the intermerwebby...

so, during my research today, I came across this load of bum fluffery

• Frustrating,....addictive... just move the block into the hole... well... GO ON THEN!!
• The new Guinness Advert is fun
• Create any size wall poster from any size image
  
• 5 worst fight scenes in the movies ...
  
• Play Super Mario online (if you like, if not move on...)
• As a rule, I normally don't go in for "Guns and Ammo" type films, but this has got James Mcavoy (Atonement..), Angelina Jolie Morgan Freeman chucking themselves about and firing big weapons at bad guys it's also Directed b Russian nutter Timur Bekmambetov, who made "Night Watch" ... what's not to like?. "Wanted" Out in 2008, I'm already moist with anticipation
• Musicmesh is a music & video site type thingammy that lets you search a massive library of stuff... a bit like Pandora's music radio site, only with smashing super moving pictures, lovely
  
• I thought I was an idiot. But I'm not, becuase I can make an Origami Crane. It's the bollocks
  

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Dawn of the Dumb

I very nearly coughed up a bit of sick in excitement, when I heard the news that Charlie Brooker has just published a new book. "Dawn of the Dumb: Dispatches from the Idiotic Frontline" it's in the shops (and amazon.co.uk) right now!.. What are you doing?. Go and buy a copy NOW!.

here's a little sample of my hero's literary genius:

"I don't get people. What's their appeal, precisely? They waddle around with their haircuts on, cluttering the pavement like gormless, farting skittles. They're awful."

hahahahhahhahhahhahha...see...funny....

I thought I was his biggest fan (at least, that's what I scrawled in my own blood the last time I wrote to him) but this little nuglet of media fluffery completely passed me by: I really must get my head out from up his bum and take a look around from time to time:

If you're at all interested, you can read his archived articles for commentisfree.co.uk, right here, plus there's his Guardian's Screenburn archive here. BBC fluff on Brookers TV Show "Screenwipe" here.

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I found this...

...the least you could do is look at it... well.... GO ON THEN!

• Yeah... I was thinking about kicking back this weekend and doing some Meth. Nice
• I wanted to buy some art for my daughters nursery. No Fluffy Bunnies here.Lovely
• Are you a bit bored?Why not transform your skirt into a soda vending machine
  
• Art or Abuse? You decide (Warning, this is not for the feint hearted)
• A list of lists
  
• Just in case you find yourself accidentally in a Zombie Apocalypse, you might want to read this
  
• Books, online for Free, no catch. Now, read something...
  
• You know what you've done? You've sharpened that pencil all wrong. Idiot!
• Burning Man Festival (hard to describe...)
• Fark! sounds rude don't it?.
• Live Plasma, sort of a a-z of music, movies and stuff that's all nicely collated and that.

That's it...go on...bugger off

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"D'oh!"

apparantly, this is what I'd look like, if I were a character on The Simpsons. you can have a go here

The Big Lebowski - Fucking Short Version

"Damn, I'm Hungry!"

soooooo, it's been a while, sorry - I've been out of town: just a few things I wanted to show:

• Get me a God damn Burger!
• This is cool!
• Bush: Idiot Savant? or just.plain.stoopid?
• Remember Manimal?...... I've always wanted to be a wolf!
• We are all doomed!
• never owe rent to this bitch!
• The Japanese are crazy aren't they?
• Germs + Women = genius commentary
• Tiger Woods must have started this way
• A flood tide of filth is engulfing our country!

I promise to be back with avengence....

"Am I Mingin'?"

Like a road accident you slow down on the motorway to look at, .... I've watched in slack jawed awe the hideousness that has been the PR circus of Miss Jade Goody. She has raised the bar on mediocrity to such a degree, even G, G, G Gareth Gates has retired. Andy Warhol said; "In the future we'll all be famous for 15 minutes", I'm not convinced he meant this:

I'm not going to get into wagon jumping that has occurred in recent Weeks' (I've always thought she was a twat, and I am obviously superior for knowing this...) Instead, I thought I'd highlight some classic Goody Twatery: (I don't care that that isn't a word, I'm on the moral high ground tonight...)

These wordy delights all came from Goody's silly little mouthole:

• Rio de Janeiro, ain't that a person?
• What's a sparagus? Do you grow it?
• Sherlock Holmes invented toilets.
• Mother Theresa is from Germany.
• It's Mona Lisa who's symmetrical, innit?
• They were trying to use me as an escape goat.
• Do you play croquet on a horse?

It's one thing to be bit "challenged", but it's entirely another for the rest of us to have to watch it. The fact the somehow we seemed to have applauded this idiocy for three years or so is just as criminal as her getting paid for being a caaaahhhnnt; but there you go: we'll always have Stars in Their Eyes

couple of things to take your mind of it all:

Frogger or watch some TV on your PC (good link...) or this or this