nevermind

David Blaine is Slightly Gay! (...Now That's Magic!)

This is where I want to live

Subscribe to nevermind
Subscribe to nevermind by Email

Another Blatent Friend Talent Plug: Carter Brown Rock!, Official!

I bumped into my friend Matt Russell earlier tonight, who is a total ROCK LEGEND (well, he will be...) and promised that I would plug the band that he's in CARTER BROWN. They, in my opinion, ROCK... how you say in English?...erm...THE BELLS!: you can listen to some of their tracks at their website.

They have a gig lined up at The Hope (formerly known as "Polar Central") in Brighton on 18th November. I will, most likely, be in the front row, throwing kisses and showing my tits. Feel free to join me.

here is there Myspace site:

CARTER BROWN is made up of guitarist and vocalist MATT RUSSELL, lead guitarist PAUL GELLATLY, bassist JAMES WHEELWRIGHT and drummer WILL CRYSELL.

After a year mostly spent, writing and recording, the band were approached last year by uber cool new indie label WORST CASE SCENARIO RECORDS and offered a single deal.

The first single "SAY HELLO" came out at the end of April 2006 in all good record shops on 7 inch vinyl and online through Universal digital distribution. Plans for a new 4 track demo to be recorded at Stakeout Studios for the end of May.

"I gotsta get me one of those!"

Ahh Betty Page. She dressed up in nice nice things just to make us all feel good Whhhoooaaaa there Betty!... when I'm in pursuit for truth and the meaning of deeper things on the intermerwebby, I often get distracted by a lady in stockings and a cheeky smile. Smashing..

If you like this sort of thing, "nice" fluffy pictures of lovely ladies who might have just accidentally dropped something on the floor, then we can be friends, if it's not, then you're dead to me.

Alberto Varga (my favourite) just blows me away with the detail in his work, you can check out some his best stuff here & here, seriously, have a look, & check your pulse while you're at it.

Subscribe to nevermind
Subscribe to nevermind by Email

Hello, I'm the Devil Incarnate

I originally posted the below article in March this year, because a) I really fucking hate Jeremy Kyle and b)... no, that's it. I fucking hate him.
It seem that "Jezza" has been in the press recently, some claims that he may, in fact, have some problems that would warrant him appearing on say, The Jerry Springer's show... oh, the irony is just to much to bear. I would eat what's left of my liver, just to see him in a Burberry Baseball cap and some Reebok Classics...

watch his stupid, pointless, empty life unfold here:

And here's the post again:

This is Jeremy Kyle..... Jeremy "Jezza" Kyle's imaginatively titled TV Show "The Jeremy Kyle Show" tells us all we need to know about the current social climate in the UK।

Well, it does, if sitting at home in your "Pineapple" tracksuit bottoms chuffing on 60 Rothmans, and scarfing down any fast food solids within reach, signifies the "Common Man or Woman in England"

If you shag anyone but your husband/wife/partner and them kill them to death, attempt murder in some heinous way, drink too much before beating your children within an inch of their lives then I suppose you could argue that the show might have niche appeal... they might as well call it "Jeremy Burns a Pikey to Death"

It's about as close to reality as say, Jerry springer was to anthropology.....I seriously don't get it, and , before we go on, let's make one thing absolutely clear; Jezza's only qualification is as a Television Presenter. Let's just repeat that again... let the statement roll around your tongue for a moment, whilst the reality of those words seep into your noggin'. He is not a qualified counselor, Phsycologist or psychiatrist , but never mind. He's got an amazingly over sized mouth, and knows some seven-letter-words. he also wears a suit, which makes him a fucking expert doesn't it.

It's a bloody miracle any of the guests actually get a word in, as he recants; "Listen to me ...Listen to me ...Listen to me ...Listen to me!""Look at me ...Look at me ...Look at me ...Look at me!" every thirty seconds until they just stare at him like they're watching a feather in the air...

The audience & viewers don't turn up or turn on, to watch stories of triumph over adversity, they're not hoping to explore the complex psychological dynamics of relationships presented with challenging external influences. They want to boo and shout random expletives at a parade of social pariahs and pantomime villains: all executed by the Circus Ringmaster Jezza, who's only slightly less sinister that Jeremy Beadle (it must be the name)

Is there anything more hypocritical than his hammed-up pretence of being deeply shocked, outraged and saddened whenever a guest opens their mouth to speak their tiny little thought out loud. I challenge you to give me a reason for his existence!

sorry, but I think he.is.a.C**t

Subscribe to nevermind

Dawn of the Dumb

I very nearly coughed up a bit of sick in excitement, when I heard the news that Charlie Brooker has just published a new book. "Dawn of the Dumb: Dispatches from the Idiotic Frontline" it's in the shops (and amazon.co.uk) right now!.. What are you doing?. Go and buy a copy NOW!.

here's a little sample of my hero's literary genius:

"I don't get people. What's their appeal, precisely? They waddle around with their haircuts on, cluttering the pavement like gormless, farting skittles. They're awful."

hahahahhahhahhahhahha...see...funny....

I thought I was his biggest fan (at least, that's what I scrawled in my own blood the last time I wrote to him) but this little nuglet of media fluffery completely passed me by: I really must get my head out from up his bum and take a look around from time to time:

If you're at all interested, you can read his archived articles for commentisfree.co.uk, right here, plus there's his Guardian's Screenburn archive here. BBC fluff on Brookers TV Show "Screenwipe" here.

Subscribe to nevermind

I found this...

...the least you could do is look at it... well.... GO ON THEN!

Yeah... I was thinking about kicking back this weekend and doing some Meth. Nice
I wanted to buy some art for my daughters nursery. No Fluffy Bunnies here.Lovely
Are you a bit bored?Why not transform your skirt into a soda vending machine
Art or Abuse? You decide (Warning, this is not for the feint hearted)
A list of lists
Just in case you find yourself accidentally in a Zombie Apocalypse, you might want to read this
Books, online for Free, no catch. Now, read something...
You know what you've done? You've sharpened that pencil all wrong. Idiot!
Burning Man Festival (hard to describe...)
Fark! sounds rude don't it?.
Live Plasma, sort of a a-z of music, movies and stuff that's all nicely collated and that.

That's it...go on...bugger off

Subscribe to nevermind

Fight, Fight, Fight, Fight!

I'm the luckiest man alive!, yep, having a woman in your life that has the same utter contempt for celebland, and yet still has an uncontrollable urge to stare at them, unblinkingly... like road kill, means I get the best gossip, with added "bitchness". It's fucking ace!

The Macca-Stella-Pegleg-Mucca story just keeps on creeping on, like a 10 tonne haulage truck accidentally rolling toward a primary school. I'm loving every crazy second of it.

Now armed with recently updated sources of information (AKA my girlfriend*) I can reveal some interesting facts:

After pegleg's meltdown on GMTV yesterday morning, every woman in the country took a Mobile text vote, and decided by a 81.5% landslide, that Heather Mills is absolutely mad-as-hens!
Nobody actually cares if she is in possession of certain facts pertaining to her accusation that Sir Paul is in fact, a bit of a Cunt (sorry, I'm just saying verbatim what my source* told me)
The real reason that Pegger's & Macca split was due to the low resonating hum that emitts from her fake leg, which can, in some cases, cause depression and the pox.
Mills claims Sir P's daughter Stella was jealous of her and tried to wreck the marriage to her father...Oh, boo hoo.... They should put them in a ring and let them bitch fight it out. My money is on the "gutter pigeon" aka Heather Peg-Leg-Mills - I mean, she has a fake leg... she could beat the McCartney's out of you with it
Mills compared herself to Princess Diana, Gandhi, the Queen and Bob Carolgees (porbably, sorry Bob), all of which have also suffered at the hands of the press. Rumours of her ability to walk on water, cure lepers and time travel have yet to be substantiated.