"Am I Mingin'?"

Like a road accident you slow down on the motorway to look at, .... I've watched in slack jawed awe the hideousness that has been the PR circus of Miss Jade Goody. She has raised the bar on mediocrity to such a degree, even G, G, G Gareth Gates has retired. Andy Warhol said; "In the future we'll all be famous for 15 minutes", I'm not convinced he meant this:

I'm not going to get into wagon jumping that has occurred in recent Weeks' (I've always thought she was a twat, and I am obviously superior for knowing this...) Instead, I thought I'd highlight some classic Goody Twatery: (I don't care that that isn't a word, I'm on the moral high ground tonight...)

These wordy delights all came from Goody's silly little mouthole:

• Rio de Janeiro, ain't that a person?
• What's a sparagus? Do you grow it?
• Sherlock Holmes invented toilets.
• Mother Theresa is from Germany.
• It's Mona Lisa who's symmetrical, innit?
• They were trying to use me as an escape goat.
• Do you play croquet on a horse?

It's one thing to be bit "challenged", but it's entirely another for the rest of us to have to watch it. The fact the somehow we seemed to have applauded this idiocy for three years or so is just as criminal as her getting paid for being a caaaahhhnnt; but there you go: we'll always have Stars in Their Eyes

couple of things to take your mind of it all:

Frogger or watch some TV on your PC (good link...) or this or this

Spot the Family Resemblance?

Sundays I spend with my daughter, Eva: She’s four-and-a-half years old. She’s my little freak! In the last year she has developed a charm offensive that’s something to behold; most people who come into direct contact with her go weak at the knees and start to give her money. Though I think she’s eternally cute, I am immune to her dimples… mostly: Eva’s pretty much like most four year old girls, she likes pink clothing , “Bratz” and Dogs, she like running along walls, squirrels’ in the park and swings. She's recently started Ballet & Drama, God help me if she turns out like this: (I'm the one below by the way, aha hahahha bwahahhhaha...) Now that's out of the way - let no more be said on the matter. I promise not to post any more pictures of Eva and say really rubbish things like:" awww, look her her, like a little angel innit?."

I bumped into my friend Simon Dixon last night, a most excellent popular culture artist. Simon's looking for a new studio in Brighton, If anyone knows anyone with a decent space in town that's going spare, get in touch:
In the early 90's a friend introduced me to J.R. "Bob" Dobbs. For one reason or another I'd totally forgotten about "The Church of the Subgenius" Now I'm thinking about becoming ordained...

"Mother of God!"

In 1985 Weird Science was released: I was fifteen yeas old, and Kelly LeBrock started to happen to me. I can't be sure how many times I went to see the movie, it's all a bit of a blur. But what I do remember was siting there in the theatre, mouth slightly ajar, dropping the odd piece of popcorn vaguely toward it.

To a fifteen year old boy, she embodied every secret thought of what a woman should be. There's no doubt that her acting talent was, well, virtually non existent what a shame this happened to her. Ah well. Life.Moves.On.

"Bettie be Thy Name"

"Wowsers!"

I probably don't have to tell you why Bettie Page was one of the most popular Pin-Ups of her time (1950's, mostly). Here is some really interesting info on Bettie, and here is a decent gallery - I'd wait until you get home to view this:

in 2005 Gretchen Mol starred as Bettie Page in "The Notorious Bettie Page", which got pretty favourable reviews (Gretchen does look uncannily like Bettie, and then, err, not at all). Bettie, now in her 77th year, is finally getting some recognition as an "artist". I wouldn't know about that, but she looks deadly in stockings. Interesting also to mention that Harold Lloyd ("A Pair of Glasses & a Smile") also took to some interesting photography after retirement from movies....




Today, there's a new girl bringing Burlesque into the mainstream. No one is doing a better job, or showing more passion for the style and ideology than Dita Von Teese. There's a great book about Burlesque by Teese, which is definitely worth a look into: (It's art, so strictly speaking the nude pictures are actually a comment modern society. In other words, it's OK to look...) The best news is, she's no longer with Marilyn Manson. So knock yourself out!

"Your rolled up sleeves, and your skull t-shirt"

- Amy Winhouse: "You Know I'm No Good"

; "You say why did you do it with him today?And sniff me out like I was Tanqueray "
crackin' line:
She's ever so slightly bonkers, but I like it: She's got that B-movie-gak-head-rockabilly-chic-thing going on, or something

I got this T-shirt from Howcool.com (Ignore the suspect lingerie section, and just go straight to the T-Shirts)

I think it was about $25 (but no shipping or Import costs) which is a bargain, it's extremely good quality too.

There seems to be a resurgence of Rockabilly in Brighton You can also check out the Engine Rooms website for listings and stuff: "It's too cool for school daddy!" - but the Vince Ray Tattoos are just about the coolest thing there is... 20 Camels, a switchblade and a greasy jelly roll....

"I'm A Dark Little Poet Tonight"

"I don't mean to sound cold or cruel or vicious, but I am so that's the way it comes out."

-Bill Hicks, 1961-1994

... it's 1993, and my good friend Jo Young introduces me to a recording of comedian Bill Hicks (Rant in E-Minor), I was hooked and immediately became a complete fan. 1 year later, Bill was dead; he was 33 years old . RIP you dark little poet...

Now I know I'm not the only person to say this, but there's always been a special place in my heart for Hicks. He was, after all, something of a poet of our times. He did not dress up political confusion, and he certainly didn't have all the answers, but he did make you think about shit that was under the surface, and for that I am eternally grateful.

Couple of books that are either about him or written by him. Both are definitely worth reading, as they say as much about the times & Political climate Bill lived in as they do about the man himself.

Of course, Bill was gaining something of a cult status in the UK for his outspoken Stand Up Routines; some of the official recordings are here, but it's really not hard to find his stuff.

interestingly, and unlike some of his peers, Hick's material does not seem to have dated at all, in fact, it's become eerily topical , and there is also a Poignancy to his work - not least one of his most memorable comments during the "revelations" shows that were aired not long before he passed away. (insert lump in throat here)

"The world is like a ride in an amusement park and when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and around and around and it has thrills and chills and it's very brightly coloured and it's very loud. And it's fun - for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they begin to question; is this real? Or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, and they say, "Hey, don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because... this is just a ride."

- Bill Hicks

"Don't Drive a Car When You're Dead"

...Wise words Graham, wise words. This is Graham "Two Bob" Branch. (I know his face might look familiar, but I promise you, he is not from bumfights. I've known Graham (about as well as he'll let you know him) for about 10 years. he was the first person I ever served, on my first shift, Shakespeare's Head Pub, Brighton. I haven't been able to get rid of him yet. (Just look at his face....)

I never thought I'd say this out loud, but I think everyone should have a Graham Branch in their lives. I mean, how else would I have been educated on the genius of Thelonious Monk ("Thelonious Monk me up, buttercup!") , The Grandeur of Graham Green's Brighton Rock ("You're milky Spicer!") or Henry Holland's Architecture of Brighton's Pavilion. Similarly, I would never of had the pleasure of listening to the entire history of Grahams' teeth (pictured are his brand spanking new ones), or stories of his terrible depressions (I'm terribly depressed) , not to mention his interesting choices in female company. The many, many faces of Graham include; Graham the Hospitality Rep, Graham the Taxi Driver, Graham the Estate Agent, Graham the Gardener.

There's something poetic about seeing him glide through my local pub, drunk as a lord, whirling dervish arms flailing, as if after a session of Electro Therapy. and it's all down to the this "little slurpette"

Graham, I salute you, and all that sail near to you!: "Get a Lifestyle"

As tribute, today's blog is devoted, in part, to those rogue imbibers, old soaks, grand lushes, those royally tanked and oiled amongst us: to the pissed and the damned!

Some people just know exactly what to say:

• "I feel sorry for people that don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day": Frank Sinatra


• "An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools": Ernest Hemingway


• "A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her": W.C. Fields


• "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy": Benjamin Franklin
  

"Champagne For My Real Friends, Real Pain For My Sham Friends"

I've always had a fascination with the self destruction and degradation that often comes with a drinkers life (Fact: I have woken up with my face in sick at least a once in my adult life. Not pretty, or romantic, or something you tell a women on a first date.) Charles Bukwoski, Jack Kerouac, John Fante, George Best, Oliver Reed, All of them beautifully fucked up and hideous and wonderful:

Some other Glorious & Beautiful Freaks:

• Dylan Thomas: At the age of 39, Doctors' told Thomas that to continue to drink was to die, but he drank on. "Do not go gentle into that good night," he wrote. "Rage, rage against the dying of the light." He died suddenly of acute alcoholism in the midst of his 1953 U.S. lecture tour.


• Edgar Alan Poe: A college classmate once wrote; "Poe's passion for strong drink was as marked and as peculiar as that for cards . . . without a sip or a smack of the mouth he would seize a full glass and send it home at a single gulp." Poe, at 27, married. She was 13 years old and tubercular at the time; when she died, Poe, in his anguish sought relief in alcohol and drugs. He died after a drinking bout, at the age of 40. "Nevermore!"


• Jackson Pollock: Pollock kept himself sober for the purposes of splattering enamel paint over floor-bound canvas . But when drunk, Pollock raged, and chose to do a lot of public pissing . Stunted by the pressure of sudden stardom, he got depressed, drunk and unproductive. He was killed after driving his a car into a tree, killing one other passenger. It was rumoured to be suicide. My guess is he may have been drinking... dribble: